Its been a month plus that I have worked in PA. Its really NOT MUCH thing to do as yet... LOL.. Not because I am paid just to be vase in the office, but project starting next year, now because drawing near to end of the year, people are busying closing projects rather then starting new ones. But what I heard is that the committee that I am leading will have at least two projects to work on next year.. need to prepare my stamina to handle the tiredness etc... But thank God i pick up running and swimming le!! lol....
But working in PA is starting to get a bit struggling, especially the relating part.. I am called to lead this group of committee which is the indians committee, I really having difficulty to socialise with them. THey are those highly educated, super rich.. working in govertment sector that hold high rank and post, they are a team of influencial people and precisely because of this its getting me feeling intimidated. God really is good in putting me where I am not comfortable at times. I am thinking why not put me in Youth grp or etc.... why indian committee, but true enough, this is what i really need. Through this situation, I have learnt to depend on Him in my daily life, not just " PROJECT BASE" but daily life. But truly that God wants to draw me nearer to Him.
Recently been reflecting upon my life, I really think that my life is really quite an adventure and if I am God, I think I will kill "me". I have really did alot of stupid things in my life and i decided to openly put in my blog today
( dont get stumbled hor*** )
1) I love to steal things when I am young .. like money, shop lifting ( thank God i didnt get caught.. hmm)
2) I scold my Mum and dad when I feel agitated by them ( I think alot of you can identify with me on this)
3) I watched RA movie before together with my classmate when I am in secondary school( ok.. this is quite err.. out of curiosity....... and the whole time, we are making alot of comments throughout the show...)
4) I Cheated in exams before during my secondary school(but i still fail in the end.. -.- )
5) I love to make fun of other classmates and make them feel outcast ( confession time : leanne is one of that poor soul .. sorry leanneeee.....)
6) I love to gossip about other girls and make the rest of the classmate hate them ( ok, this is what i call "survival skill" when I am in secondary school time)
7)I become a lesbian when I am in polytechnic( this mark one of the life transformation I had in my life)
8) dislike authority and doubted in them
.
.
.
.
. the list can truly goes on..... But I think I will just stop here...I think one of the most memorable incident or struggle I has with God is when I fall into homosexuality when I am at the age of 20 years old when I am in poly technic..That was the one of the intense period of my life where I have to struggle between what I felt and what I know is right... Many people came into my life that time to help me and to speak to me regarding this issue. I turn away from them. But God is real and good, without fail , holy spirit spoke to me and I start to realise the root issue of my life and now I can say that I am truly set free.
Ok.. kind of tired.. think I will continue next blog ..But I hope to blog more of my experience in my lesbianism and I hope those who have this struggle actually got the chance to read my blog and be encouraged. YOu are not alone and God can change you cause he love you and He has his perfect will for you.
to be continue.............................................................
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Friday, November 21, 2008
God is faithful indeed. He is never late. He is always on time. dont you think so? Everytime when man thinks its time, God have a even better timing. Trust him, not in our own understanding for God is impossible to fathom, but love Him with your heart , mind, soul and strength and He will reveal himself more and more. There when you will learn about Him and know Him in a deeper measure.
This two years has been really a intense year for me.lots of testing and moulding. Its a real test of character and test of my trust in Him. But all these are worth it indeed, cause i gain something that is even more. that is knowing my lord and drawing closer to Him. He is indeed near and not far, He is always with us guiding and speaking to us. He is always there.Sometimes I just realise that we are too drown with what we think, what we want to say and what other ppl think, not careful, we drown out the voice of God in our life. Many times, its true that I realise that I am busy talking to myself, but not hearing Him. Be still and know He is God, its an art to practice stillness.
recently, my house main door is my favourite place to do QT. I have been sitting by the door, allowing the night breeze to brush my face and closing my eyes to hear my Lord talking to me, allowing my business to be wash away and exchange with the stillness and sweetness of God presence.It was the best time of my day to unload and reload with His promises and His strength in my life. Without fail, He spoke to me everynight. answering my doubt, giving me peace and reassuring me of what I am fearful of.
Have been spending time praying for TP, leaders and myself. TP is not just another campus, Its a place where God want to flood his presence and spirit on.
Two things that i spoke in the recent campaign that I think is pretty God led:
1) Lets move from smallest to biggest to being significant
2) we dont want numbers.. we want LIVES!
Its really true that number is not what we are interested , but instead we should really move to be significant and bring back God's blessing to the campus. We carry God's blessing promises. we are mend to be that channel. If we are just gathering number from TP campus and bring it back to the church.. what good it be? for we shd be CITY ON THE HILL... we are not to bring the hill back to the city but bring the city into the hill.
God will work through us when we totally dependent on Him.
This two years has been really a intense year for me.lots of testing and moulding. Its a real test of character and test of my trust in Him. But all these are worth it indeed, cause i gain something that is even more. that is knowing my lord and drawing closer to Him. He is indeed near and not far, He is always with us guiding and speaking to us. He is always there.Sometimes I just realise that we are too drown with what we think, what we want to say and what other ppl think, not careful, we drown out the voice of God in our life. Many times, its true that I realise that I am busy talking to myself, but not hearing Him. Be still and know He is God, its an art to practice stillness.
recently, my house main door is my favourite place to do QT. I have been sitting by the door, allowing the night breeze to brush my face and closing my eyes to hear my Lord talking to me, allowing my business to be wash away and exchange with the stillness and sweetness of God presence.It was the best time of my day to unload and reload with His promises and His strength in my life. Without fail, He spoke to me everynight. answering my doubt, giving me peace and reassuring me of what I am fearful of.
Have been spending time praying for TP, leaders and myself. TP is not just another campus, Its a place where God want to flood his presence and spirit on.
Two things that i spoke in the recent campaign that I think is pretty God led:
1) Lets move from smallest to biggest to being significant
2) we dont want numbers.. we want LIVES!
Its really true that number is not what we are interested , but instead we should really move to be significant and bring back God's blessing to the campus. We carry God's blessing promises. we are mend to be that channel. If we are just gathering number from TP campus and bring it back to the church.. what good it be? for we shd be CITY ON THE HILL... we are not to bring the hill back to the city but bring the city into the hill.
God will work through us when we totally dependent on Him.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Well done TP BUSART and TP ENGIT!
Attention to all TP ppl!!!
WOW praise God for the events that ENGIT and BUSART had on mon and fri respectively. It was truly a great turn out that God has bless both of the unit! Altogether we have 80 near to 100 visitors came, we witness more then 40 contacts turn up for each of the event. Both event was a success....
Right now I am praying for 40 cvts for whole TP. I really think that God will definitely give us some situation that lead us to have radical faith that leads to radical growth.
People. lets continue to stay focus on the prize that God has install for us. Lets not be distracted by anything or any situation, but set our eyes and our heart onto the one and only prize that God has set for us...
TP... lets really give our whole heart unto this TP campus. This land that fills with people that doesnt know God yet. I am praying for God to stretch my faith, my steadfast trust, my love and compassion as well.
This land belong to God( how i wish i can just take a flag and stick it on the ground of tp now.. worship jesus!)
Lord I pray that may you guide everyone of us into your promise land . Guide us and sustain us. perserve and see your promise come to past.Amen...
WOW praise God for the events that ENGIT and BUSART had on mon and fri respectively. It was truly a great turn out that God has bless both of the unit! Altogether we have 80 near to 100 visitors came, we witness more then 40 contacts turn up for each of the event. Both event was a success....
Right now I am praying for 40 cvts for whole TP. I really think that God will definitely give us some situation that lead us to have radical faith that leads to radical growth.
People. lets continue to stay focus on the prize that God has install for us. Lets not be distracted by anything or any situation, but set our eyes and our heart onto the one and only prize that God has set for us...
TP... lets really give our whole heart unto this TP campus. This land that fills with people that doesnt know God yet. I am praying for God to stretch my faith, my steadfast trust, my love and compassion as well.
This land belong to God( how i wish i can just take a flag and stick it on the ground of tp now.. worship jesus!)
Lord I pray that may you guide everyone of us into your promise land . Guide us and sustain us. perserve and see your promise come to past.Amen...
Saturday, November 1, 2008
random
yey.. after service .. went back to Jasmine and Abigail hse.. Really enjoy in the house.I can just do what I want to do and relax... LOL.. Now i am just relaxing and watching TV and doing blogging at the same time...
Wow..... realise its only like 2 days to my first day of work. feeling excited same time fearful. Really dont know what to expect, but just trust God and see what God will do through this new Job that he offer me then. But anyhow.. see what God can do through me then..
By the way.. a few things that I want to do..
Check list:
1) Lose 5 Kg by end of the year
Run 3 times every week and swim 1 time per week. Hopefully to lose weight and keep fit!
2) Going for hair extension!!
Yey, will have long hair liao.. its gonna be very fresh .. hohoho
3) BY end of the year to Perm my hair!
yey..all these are all physical needs list.. haha.. more to come..LOL.. but want to have a fresh look for the new year..
... hohoho.... bye....................
Wow..... realise its only like 2 days to my first day of work. feeling excited same time fearful. Really dont know what to expect, but just trust God and see what God will do through this new Job that he offer me then. But anyhow.. see what God can do through me then..
By the way.. a few things that I want to do..
Check list:
1) Lose 5 Kg by end of the year
Run 3 times every week and swim 1 time per week. Hopefully to lose weight and keep fit!
2) Going for hair extension!!
Yey, will have long hair liao.. its gonna be very fresh .. hohoho
3) BY end of the year to Perm my hair!
yey..all these are all physical needs list.. haha.. more to come..LOL.. but want to have a fresh look for the new year..
... hohoho.... bye....................
Thursday, October 30, 2008
God spoke to me
Many of us are thinking that God indeed are merciful and gracious. Jacob uses method that seemingly unethical to get the blessing that is not rightfully his. But God gave to him still.
Wrestling with the Angel, his socket of the hip was wrenched.
Result? he has to limped for the rest of his life. Because of this limp he has to be humbled for the rest of his life unto God.because of this limp, he has to lean and rely unto God for the rest of the life.
What is the limp in my life? what is that one thing that I can be so proud of to say that " i am weak therefore i can be strong in God". When things are done, it will point man to God and not me. I have finally found that limp and it does help me realise my continous need to rely unto God.
I went to jog with Abigail yesterday, I shared with her something that God spoke to me.When I realise that "limp" in my life, I realise there is a need to rely unto God regularly and daily. Not only when times are bad.. or when i feel like it... or when my time is too busy, I will just compromise my daily union with God. But is a realization that you need to rely unto God, it becomes a need.. not just a want..it becomes your means of survival.... because you know that your life is mark by God to live for a greater cause and for a greater purpose. When you realise that God's burden start to grow in your heart. Serving, church planting is no longer just a good deeds nor doing alone.. but you start to seek for greater and deeper understanding and conviction about it from God. YOu just want to know what God thinks and His burden.
These few days is not a easy days for me as having a few issue in family, but precisely God uses this environment to show me who I am inside and the "quality" in me.
1.Do I really have that overflowing love from God that embraces all and covers all? How much I able to love the unlovable with the love of God that is in me.I want to love my parents more and really help them. i need God strength to not be affected by them and having that ability to help them. To see God to be in our family. Spirit of God to dwell in the Lim's family. But one good thing is that because of my situation at home, my sister want to bring my niece to my church!! I am so glad. Cause when the kids come, the parents will come! I am glad that God uses me to reach out to my sister family first. Still praying for God to help me in my family
God .....
-exchange my fear with Faith
-Exchange my weakness with your strength
-Not to love with my own ability, but fill me with your Agape Love that fills with power and grace and peace
2. Temasek polytechnic.. I really believe God wants to bring His "kingdom" into the polytechnic. For God came down.. and same thing.. For God will GO into TP and change the generation of students... Its not about them coming to us.. but is about bringing God's spirit into the campus. For this is about " His kingdom comes, thy will be done" God's seed is in every of the TP student in Hope poly ministry. And we will carry that seed and plant it in TP and saturate it to see transformation in TP students life.
God.. I prayed that you will
- Let all the TP leaders and students to understand that God's seed is in them and we will bring this seed to be planted and grow in TP
- to bring God into TP campus and see life transformation
- Clubs, study group, cell group etc.. we will see all these establish in TP campus by mid next year, its abt lifestyle... God love every area of our life. CHristianity is FUN and EXCITING! It will be done.
Wrestling with the Angel, his socket of the hip was wrenched.
Result? he has to limped for the rest of his life. Because of this limp he has to be humbled for the rest of his life unto God.because of this limp, he has to lean and rely unto God for the rest of the life.
What is the limp in my life? what is that one thing that I can be so proud of to say that " i am weak therefore i can be strong in God". When things are done, it will point man to God and not me. I have finally found that limp and it does help me realise my continous need to rely unto God.
I went to jog with Abigail yesterday, I shared with her something that God spoke to me.When I realise that "limp" in my life, I realise there is a need to rely unto God regularly and daily. Not only when times are bad.. or when i feel like it... or when my time is too busy, I will just compromise my daily union with God. But is a realization that you need to rely unto God, it becomes a need.. not just a want..it becomes your means of survival.... because you know that your life is mark by God to live for a greater cause and for a greater purpose. When you realise that God's burden start to grow in your heart. Serving, church planting is no longer just a good deeds nor doing alone.. but you start to seek for greater and deeper understanding and conviction about it from God. YOu just want to know what God thinks and His burden.
These few days is not a easy days for me as having a few issue in family, but precisely God uses this environment to show me who I am inside and the "quality" in me.
1.Do I really have that overflowing love from God that embraces all and covers all? How much I able to love the unlovable with the love of God that is in me.I want to love my parents more and really help them. i need God strength to not be affected by them and having that ability to help them. To see God to be in our family. Spirit of God to dwell in the Lim's family. But one good thing is that because of my situation at home, my sister want to bring my niece to my church!! I am so glad. Cause when the kids come, the parents will come! I am glad that God uses me to reach out to my sister family first. Still praying for God to help me in my family
God .....
-exchange my fear with Faith
-Exchange my weakness with your strength
-Not to love with my own ability, but fill me with your Agape Love that fills with power and grace and peace
2. Temasek polytechnic.. I really believe God wants to bring His "kingdom" into the polytechnic. For God came down.. and same thing.. For God will GO into TP and change the generation of students... Its not about them coming to us.. but is about bringing God's spirit into the campus. For this is about " His kingdom comes, thy will be done" God's seed is in every of the TP student in Hope poly ministry. And we will carry that seed and plant it in TP and saturate it to see transformation in TP students life.
God.. I prayed that you will
- Let all the TP leaders and students to understand that God's seed is in them and we will bring this seed to be planted and grow in TP
- to bring God into TP campus and see life transformation
- Clubs, study group, cell group etc.. we will see all these establish in TP campus by mid next year, its abt lifestyle... God love every area of our life. CHristianity is FUN and EXCITING! It will be done.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Lesson 1 : DUN tell me what I CANNOT DO.. Tell me WHAT I CAN DO!!
Just came back from running.... It really feel good running and getting yourself super duper tired and relax.Just feel good about that.
Actually i am getting rather anxious and same time excited over the new job that I will be working in this coming monday.. excited because this job is obviously a job that God gave.. anxious is because I am worried that I cant cope with my health and also my ability...
obviously, at this moment, I am not the only one that is anxious about my ability to cope, My parents is MUCH more anxious then me.
Have you ever experience when people start to keep nagging you with words or comment telling you of what you fall short of, remind you of what to be fearful of and telling you stuff that reminds you of all the negative things that have happened? I have this group of people around me.. and challenging to speak, they are with me in my very house.. they are none other then my parents themselves...
Sometimes, you cant help, but be affected by all those comments... negative feelings or fear will grip you tightly.But truly thank God... I have the word with me.
Was reading the luke and one of the chapter that talks about the storm that actually rock the boat of jesus' and his disciple and one of the, shouted towards jesus saying that they are going to die as the storm is huge, and what did jesus says? he didnt say " man.. we are going to die for real this time, let me pray and ask God(the father) to calm this storm for us" but instead he calm the storm instantly and rebuked the rest and say " where is your faith" ( in luke 8:25)
This passage just reminded me about " where is my faith?" when things around me seemingly big and too much for me to handle? or out of my control? where is my faith?
Choosing to believe in what God can do and has done is important. There are many many thoughts that went through our mind every day.. did we harnass our ability to think of what " can be done" or we spent time entertaining the thoughts of " what cant be done"?
Sometimes i realise that I spend too much time thinking of what CANT Be done then thinking of the things that CAN BE DONE... I really want to make good use of what God has given to me" my ability to think to harnass the best thing that God want to give in my life. God's word transform life, but first it is to transform my thought life first.
My life should be mark with what God think I can do and not what I think i cant do....
I am still growing much in this area. I really know that God want to do something big in my life therefore the training is worth it.
Start to realise that I cant live without the word of God, to come and add faith and strength in every step of my life, this is what I really dig for.. though not easy, but yet knowing that the outcome of the "new" Nel is worth it.
Actually i am getting rather anxious and same time excited over the new job that I will be working in this coming monday.. excited because this job is obviously a job that God gave.. anxious is because I am worried that I cant cope with my health and also my ability...
obviously, at this moment, I am not the only one that is anxious about my ability to cope, My parents is MUCH more anxious then me.
Have you ever experience when people start to keep nagging you with words or comment telling you of what you fall short of, remind you of what to be fearful of and telling you stuff that reminds you of all the negative things that have happened? I have this group of people around me.. and challenging to speak, they are with me in my very house.. they are none other then my parents themselves...
Sometimes, you cant help, but be affected by all those comments... negative feelings or fear will grip you tightly.But truly thank God... I have the word with me.
Was reading the luke and one of the chapter that talks about the storm that actually rock the boat of jesus' and his disciple and one of the, shouted towards jesus saying that they are going to die as the storm is huge, and what did jesus says? he didnt say " man.. we are going to die for real this time, let me pray and ask God(the father) to calm this storm for us" but instead he calm the storm instantly and rebuked the rest and say " where is your faith" ( in luke 8:25)
This passage just reminded me about " where is my faith?" when things around me seemingly big and too much for me to handle? or out of my control? where is my faith?
Choosing to believe in what God can do and has done is important. There are many many thoughts that went through our mind every day.. did we harnass our ability to think of what " can be done" or we spent time entertaining the thoughts of " what cant be done"?
Sometimes i realise that I spend too much time thinking of what CANT Be done then thinking of the things that CAN BE DONE... I really want to make good use of what God has given to me" my ability to think to harnass the best thing that God want to give in my life. God's word transform life, but first it is to transform my thought life first.
My life should be mark with what God think I can do and not what I think i cant do....
I am still growing much in this area. I really know that God want to do something big in my life therefore the training is worth it.
Start to realise that I cant live without the word of God, to come and add faith and strength in every step of my life, this is what I really dig for.. though not easy, but yet knowing that the outcome of the "new" Nel is worth it.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Old times~
Guess, why i choose this title?? answer- because I simply love it!
I really love the whole idea about "making-lemonade-out-of-the-lemon"kinda thing.
Its simple positive and lovely dont you think so? When the heaven throw you a lemon, make a lemonade and enjoy it!!. If something bad happens, make something good out of it. When you have an embarassing moment, have a good laugh at yourself. When something happened that seemingly broke your heart, thrash your soul, simply learn something from it and move on stronger from there.
There are many times that I have make an embarassment out of myself, BUT THANK GOD! I managed to laugh( good laugh!) at myself ..
So now you know why I simply love this title!
Ok, now ..the real thing....
TIME flies.. .. REALLY FLIES.. Its like coming to an end to 2008 liao...waaaa.. feel old.. I will be 26 next year liao... REALLY SCARY.. ( but thank God I LOOK YOUNG ^^ ) there are just so many thing sthat actually happened this year.. This year is really a year that alot of things happened. Esepcially my insomia issue .. this period of time really make me realise how weak I am and my precious friends around me. REally thank you all ( you know who you all are)..But this period of time I really get to know myself more and rely unto God even more..Great adventure with God.. but I know there is more to come still.. woohoo...
anyway...
My two DEAR friends are in army now.. Just enlisted.. MR jovin Lim and Mr ben tan ( da cow) lol.. man.. They are in army now.. BOtak.. LOL..I was just joking with Kok leng that next year he and nehemiah is going in army also.. then all my musios will be botak.,..then we can call " the Botak Band" lol.. cool right.. a new trend in band members.. the "cool botak" !!Really misses them.. haha.. it feels different with out them around.Really treasure them alot as friends and co labourer in christ
our picture taken in bangkok lst december.. really miss those times..hohoho
anyway.. 3 out of 4 guys are BOTAK now..LOL.. cool right?
oh. just being random... Have been watching ugly betty!! I LOVE THE SHOW.. lol.. betty is just so cool la...^^ .. btw.. a pic that priscilla make for me..
ok...... priscilla say i look like betty....................................................................
anyway.. I hope to blog more often and hopeI will not forget my password to my blog too!! lol...
Blog more substantial stuff tomorrow.. today.. i am just doing some warm up only.. HOHOHO...
Good old timess.. Awwwww...
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